The Grand Design. a version ‘Better than Me’

​Is Mobile the Modern Day pacifier? Is iPad the new nanny? Is parenting a skill that needs to be worked at? Does job of parenting often take over the joy of parenting? Does pumping the very best into the child – the best music lessons, advanced mathematics, tennis, and science – mean that there is no childhood left in the child? What is dad’s role in the picture?  What should the child be readied to face? 

Hours of deep immersion in the lives of parents in urban India, interviews with experts, partnership with leading online hubs for children’s activities & programmes – all of it to shine the spotlight on truths that seem to be guiding parents in India, today.

Success is directly proportional to ‘The Exposure Quotient’ Parents place great emphasis on children developing multiple facets to their personality, and are seeking various enriching experiences they can expose their children to. “In today’s world you need to know everything to survive. Academics are taken care by school. Outside the school, I gave them a choice of one sport activity, one music activity and one something else.”- Priya

Parents feel that these additional skills will give their children the bragging rights and street smart needed to succeed in real life.“We realise the importance of raising street-smart kids. The competition is for everything  and from everyone. It is important to expose children to different nationalities of children and to other children with varied talent” Priyanka

Parents extensively research in their quest for kid-friendly holiday destinations. “It is primarily about doing different things, exposing them to different stimulus. The family discuss it what we want to do. Drives happen for natural beauty. It’s not a spur of the moment decision.”- Pooja

They want to create smaller everyday moments of happiness for their families when they are together..“For me day-to-day memories are more important. All four of us are connected on a very niche website path.com. I keep posting pictures and posts about small little things like first time he made tea, lost his tooth, his first goal, his craft etc.”-Tarun

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
Brands can ignite a conversation on how we can prepare our children for success & how we can create the right context for talent to emerge & thrive. Think on the lines of having a Development Curator -  a digital resource that parents can use  to develop their own exposure and learning plan for their children.
 
Living their Dreams Vicariously Parents today are s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g and striving to expose their children to all the experiences they feel they themselves missed out on.
"It is important that she does good in all spheres of her life, especially those that I couldn’t get much exposure to as a kid. I want her to experience all the things I couldn’t.”-  Hiteshi

While parents today are enrolling their children in diverse programmes and activities and filling their child’s world with increasing possibilities, they are fraught with an anxiety of whether there is any childhood left in their child.“My child’s life is running from one class to another, one activity to another”– Shireen

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
Provide parents with skills, tools and access to experts  to understand and uncover the talents and interests of their child. Help them structure  the child’s environment & daily routine to help facilitate the expression of the child’s interests in a manner that permissive , exploratory & freeof pressures.
Celebrate Passions: Create live and virtual events that celebrate parents’ and their children’s shared interests. 

FSTR…..FSTR….FSTR: Everything is starting earlier today - babies are being enrolled in structured programmes and classes at a much younger age than ever before.
“Parents bring 6 months old child to music classes because they want to start stimulating their child at an early age.”– Sonam, Child Care Expert 

But while they want to prepare their children for success as fast as possible, they are often left wondering as to whether or not they are hot-housing them?
“Unstructured time is very important for the child in his early age. It is not about teaching all the time. It is about creating a stimulating environment. ”– Pooja, Early Childhood Educator

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Enable the creation of nanny +child / grandparent + child programmes and activities, where the caregivers can pick up skills and be trained to care for and engage the child  productively in the comfort of the home, in an informal, unstructured manner
- Give parents a vocabulary  to recognize and appreciate what everyday success looks like when it comes to parenting
- Ignite conversation in parenting forums  & communities on how to effectively care for the child, stimulate and not hot -house the child.  Invite tips, discussions, debates , sharing experiences . Acknowledge & reward participation
- Empower parents with online resources that they can use to equip their caregivers with the right materials to entertain + educate their little ones in the process. Provide training classes for house helps 

Global Citizen with Ethnic Roots We saw parents creating opportunities – small and big – to introduce their children to their Indian roots as well as expose them to the vision of the world.
“We tell them Ramayana/Krishna stories ( Indian mythology) as bed time stories. I chant one or two shlokas (religious prayers)  at night when they are sleeping. Arjun knows most of the hanuman challisa (Hindu religious prayer) because that used to be his lullaby”- Shilpa

While they want their children to have strong local roots and a strong sense of identity, they believe a global vision is critical too. “It’s a global society and you want to give your child all the exposure, learn many things and you don’t want them to be one dimensional in their outlook" – Anika

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Provide opportunities for children to connect with their own traditions, re-acquainting them with their own roots - festivals, foods, history , mythology, arts & crafts. Online resource to help them improve their CQ – the Culture Quotient. 
- Enable parents and children to develop their Global Culture Quotient . Provide online resources & exchange programmes  & access to communities to enable cross- cultural exposure and learning
- Provide parents with ideas on how to adapt traditions to fit more modern needs.  
 
 
The Parent ‘Project Manager’ The role of a parent has changed from a DOER to a MANAGER. They delegate key tasks to maids, grandparents, tutors, even schools - demanding greater accountability from all of them. 
“I call myself the COO of this household. I call this household Shireen Enterprise. My role is of a supervisor cum administrator cum trouble-shooter ...managing everything bu outsourcing duties. I can cook but I would rather not. If you don’t have help and your kids are continuously demanding attention and you feel this continuous need to attend to their demands then how do you figure out to do the rest of the work”– Shireen
They feel that they can outsource some of the ‘doing’, and that planning & managing is their education and ability is best used.

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- The Parent Coach : Work with parents & help them articulate realistic, achievable goals both in short term and long term and  to plan their daily lives, & weekly activities to work towards the achievement these goal
- Ignite skill exchanges:  Unite caregivers  by connecting them to experts and to other parents, helping them both share  and gain knowledge & experience  

The Road Often Travelled - The Guilt Trip This is the age of time-poor, money-rich, guilt-ridden parents. Parents are constantly trying to compensate for the lack of quantity of time with their children and the resultant guilt results in material benefits and quality experiences.  “The guilt of time is compensated with showering them with gifts. It’s not as much like the kid wanting it. But parents saying take it. Because they both are working so they are very guilty and that’s what is compensated with a lot of gifts.” – Priyanka & Shitij.

But they realize that time is the ultimate luxury and are always wondering how to optimize and make the best use of their time with their children
“I really believe in spending quality time with my kids. I am with them every single morning regardless of what I am doing, where I am, I want them to know that we are with them at the beginning of the day. I am always home by 6.30. So that again they know that their day ends with us.” – Anika

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Outfit parents with ideas on activities they can do with their children making the everyday routines a little more special and something they can count as meaningful. How can they transform the routine and the mundane into a playful, fun time, full of mindfulness and fulfillment.
- Well-Being Classes for Parents. Provide parents options for de-stressing, relaxing, re-balancing . A de-stressed parent  is a better parent.
- Connect parents to a community of parents and experts  to help them discuss their anxieties and find everyday solutions to cope with it.  

Crowd-sourced Wisdom. Trust is a Person. Parents want to stay connected to other parents to learn about others’ experiences and opinions. “When deciding about the school for my son I asked parents about various schools their kids go to. And then I did my own research. I went inside/outside the schools with mothers from different schools from my reading club. I spoke to the other parents” – Shibani

Parents trust other parents and this connection to other’s experiences is the way parents form their own opinion and fortify their choices. "I search on internet by what age should a child be speaking. I would search out if my child is going through something that’s different for example Arjun has started snoring in the last three weeks. I have started reading about it. I have never sought formal help. It would always be informal with friends or families or see what other parents are saying online.” – Shilpa

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Feed parent’s conversations with images & success stories of parenting that they can then learn from & emulate
- Connect them to Real People with Real Stories. Stories of the everyday successes, failings, learning as  a parent.   
 
Building The Museum Of My Child’s Achievements. Parents uber-document and share every experience and accomplishment of their children. The child’s ‘newsfeed’ also fuels the parents’ ‘e-dentity’, giving them shareworthy original content.
“I put her achievement shots like when she got her badge, any little celebration, pictures of her doing something cute, her birthday pictures, or we go out - even my cover photograph is her picture.”- Shweta

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Help them Curate their Memories. And make sense of their pictures, the numerous artwork
- Parents are natural sharers of their  child’s  first anything.  Provide opportunities for parents to showcase children’s success. Celebrate and help document & share the experience.   

Dads In The Picture Dads today are more involved in their child’s everyday life. Their involvement extends to more aspects of their children’s lives. It’s not just about getting involved in academics and sports only – their involvement is more expansive.
“My husband is completely involved, right from the time of changing / washing nappies, giving them bath; he even learnt to braid their hair, so on days when we were rushed to school he used to braid their hair and try out new styles.”- Kavitha

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Celebrate Dads in the Picture. Use Dads in communication; Create live and virtual events that celebrate and encourage the various roles that Dad’s play in their children’s  lives
- Lead through example. Ensure that the organization puts Dads in the centre of parenting with paternity leave, child care leave for Dads and enabling Dad to play a stronger more present role in their child’s life
- Connect Dads to a community of other ‘hands on’ Dad to help them learn the ropes of active parenting  
 
Grandparents are Stepping into the Parenting Role. Grandparents are the new life support system for working parents today because grandparents are seen as the most trustworthy and dependable supervisors, as well as capable “edu-tainers”.
“Grandparents spend constructive time...quality time and give them a lot of knowledge. What grandparents can teach parents cannot because they have different experience.”- Nidhi
The knowledge that their children are with their grandparents is the greatest ‘guilt release’ valve for parents.“Having them gives me mental security. They make life fun. I love the fact he is spoiling them because there is enough rules and discipline that we inculcate at home so, they have to get their; pampering from somewhere.”-Anika

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
Celebrate the power of the mash up team of the Golden Age and children. Facilitate grandparent-grandchild team getting together with other grandparent-grandchild team for experiences that keep them productively occupied, engaged & enriched. Extend the interaction to a regular conversation on how parents  can better equip both grandparents & children as well as the home environment to respond to the  increased responsibilities  & involvement of the grandparents.  

The Newborn Parent. Parents are looking to online and offline resources to learn different aspects of parenting.
“I read a lot about parenting in blogs online, through websites,  in newspapers, magazines & books"-  Afrida
There is an increased realization amongst parents today that parenting is a skill that needs to be worked at – hence, they seek help, advice, support and inspiration to get it right.
“Parenting evolves every day. Every day there’s a unique situation and you don’t know how to deal with a situation at that time. You have to learn how to deal with it.”- Pooja 

What are some of the experiences that brands can design in this space?
- Empower parents by giving them bite-sized, mobile enabled, access to important tips, information, advice on parenting
- Go SO –LO-MO social – local – mobile. Create an ongoing  crowd sourced platform to help answer the everyday queries of parents and be their always available & accessible , 24X7 ‘agony aunt’  who will partner them in solving their parenting issues, with them, each step of the way.. Connect them to their neighbourhood community of experts    
 
 
When it comes to products and services, there definitely is a lot more that could be done in response to both the expressed and unarticulated needs of the parents today, with experiences of consequence. Brands can certainly do a lot to support parents and help ensure that the  job of parenting doesn't necessarily overtake the joy of parenting.